Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
