At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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