I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
