M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
