i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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