so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
There r osticjed everywhere
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Randomize
