You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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