I skipped work to stalk him.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
