Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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