at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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