Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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