she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
