I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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