Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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