um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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