is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
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Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize