Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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