I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
