Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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