wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
