u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you didnt know i had herpes?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
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