i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
