this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
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I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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