it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
