I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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