so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
