I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
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Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
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I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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