I wanna bring you to show and tell
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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