My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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