I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
