I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
