ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
