Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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