And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
