I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Randomize
