i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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