You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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