We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
