Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
