What a fucking waste of an outfit
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
