There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
