you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
