he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
