we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
