how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
