Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
