I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
