Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
