plz talk dirty to me
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
