the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
