I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
