I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I have fence marks all over my body
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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