I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
