Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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