Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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