I'm drive I can fine osifer
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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