help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
