the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
