I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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