My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
smell my finger.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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