Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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