just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
