fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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