let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
